


you let them hang me

by dumbassbitch



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bitterness, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23253901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbassbitch/pseuds/dumbassbitch
Summary: Murphy got into a fight again. Bellamy is so done with him.
Relationships: Murphamy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

"You know what?" Bellamy hisses, taking a few steps back.

Murphy just glares at him.

"I'm fucking done with you picking fights with people bigger than you, Murphy."

Bellamy stares at the blue-eyed boy with his bloody nose and scarred skin. How often had he wished to know what the hell was going on in that kid's head.  
Murphy rolls his eyes. "It's not that ba-"

But before he can finish, a bitter laughter interrupts him. "Your nose is bleeding and they probably broke your fucking arm."

That was too much. Murphy just couldn't suck it up anymore. His body was trembling. Not because he was scared of Bellamy. Not because he was hurt. Murphy was trembling because he was fucking angry.

"Yeah, because you're the only one who's allowed to beat me up, right? You caused most of these damn scars and you know it." He scoffs.

He sharply exhales, trying hard not to burst into tears of anger. Bellamy really seems to believe he's one of the good guys. Time to tell the poor man the truth nobody wants to hear because everything everyone ever gets to see is the great leader who always knows what to do. They don't know what his freckled hands around your throat feel like. They don't know how manipulative Bellamy can be when he's in the mood. They don't know shit.

Bellamy doesn't know what to say at first. He probably knows Murphy is right. He knows what he's done. Suddenly, Bellamy comes closer. Murphy doesn't flinch as he used to. 

"If you punch me, I will take it. But it will prove me right." The kid grits his teeth.

Bellamy runs his hands through his hair, not quite knowing what to answer. Murphy is driving him insane with his childish behaviour but he can't really blame him because he's probably just acting his age. A stubborn young boy. In this case, with some issues. Bellamy decides to try being diplomatic this time, even though it's not exactly one of his strenghts.

"I'm not gonna punch you, alright? You're already bleeding. Now listen, please." He sorts his words. "I know none of this is right, okay? But you see, I'm their leader and they expect me to keep them safe. They expect me to be consequent because that's what makes a good leader. You aren't any different from them, I need to keep you safe too. It's my responsibility to make people feel safe but you're making it pretty hard for me." 

Bellamy looks at him. Murphy doesn't look away.

"What I need you to understand is this: I don't like hurting you. But honestly, I just don't know what to do and you make me so damn mad. I know you're young. I don't expect you to grow up, the only thing I'm asking for is for you to stop picking fights and provoking people in this camp, Murphy. Because those are my people and I am responsible for whatever happens to them. So stop threatening them."

For a very long time, the pale boy doesn't say anything. He just stares at the ground, barely shivering anymore. 

Bellamy gives him the time he needs.

Then with a broken voice Murphy whispers,

"You. Let. Them. Hang. Me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This turned out a little too #bellarke-y. I swear I'll hit you with all the Murphamy ANGST in the next chapter...

Bellamy hasn't seen him since the boy ran off after their argument. Nobody has. Murphy's been spending most of the time in the dropship, getting drunk on some stuff he "borrowed" from Jasper. It's not like anyone cares anyways. He regrets allowing himself to be so vulnerable in front of the older boy - now Bellamy knows he's still not over the hanging. Not at all, actually. Murphy didn't expect the dark haired leader to apologize or baby him but though he would never admit it: it DID kind of hurt how he just stood there like an idiot and said nothing. Of course he doesn't care, Murphy tells himself. Why would he? There's absolutely no reason to care about a fucked up teenage boy with anger issues and a heart broken by his dead parents. Nope, absolutely no reason. He hates himself for wanting Blake to care. Fucking Blake, the man who kicked that goddamn crate. Murphy closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep, which doesn't work out at all, of course. He's such a mess. 

Bellamy has been trying not to think about Murphy's words, really. But it made him feel too guilty - and he kind of hated the kid for that. Because he has secretly hoped that it wasn't that much of a deal. Like, of course it was a big deal, but now Bellamy feels like as if he's done something that really shaped who Murphy is. Not in a good way. More like in a "he's-even-more-fucked-up-now-and-will-probably-kill-someone-sooner-or-later-thanks-to-YOU-Blake" kind of way. But after all, Bellamy just can't talk to him. Maybe it's because he could say more things like that to make him feel like a bad person. Maybe it's just because... well... it's John Murphy. However, the older boy is completely okay with not talking to him, really. Even though this will probably make things even worse. But he can't, he just can't. 

Yet it seems like sometimes you still have to do things you really, really don't want to do. Things that seem impossible.

"You did WHAT?" Clarke looks at him in disbelief. Bellamy can't help but glare at her. Sometimes it was quite annoying how she portrayed herself as the ultimate upholder of moral standards. Plus, it annoyed him that the blonde was probably right, once again.

"Chill, princess. I didn't really do anything, alright?" He says with a tense voice. "He just kinda ran off-"

The girl in front of him scoffs, "You did this. You let them hang him, you kicked-" 

"Shut up, I-" He hisses. "I know, okay? Now could you please lower your voice, that'd be great. Clarke. I know what I did. I just don't know what to do now."

All of his tension is gone and what's left is a guilty look on his freckled face. Bellamy sharply exhales and Clarke's facial expression softens, "Good thing I always know what to do, isn't it? Listen, all you have to do is to go find him and have a talk with him about... about everything that's happened between the two of you. He probably wouldn't want me to tell you, but I know he likes you." 

"He hates me" Bellamy says quickly, "I almost killed him, Clarke. How could he possibly feel anything else towards me, thats ridic-" 

"He looks up to you" She cuts him off, looking right into his dark eyes. "Listen, you were acting like you were the one to lead all of these people - all of us - since day one, so a leader is what you became. People look up to you now and no matter if you like it or not, that makes you responsible for them in some kind of way." She pauses and seems like she doesn't really know how to put it. Then, her voice being barely a whisper, she proceeds. "Don't forget he's only sixteen or something. His parents are dead. That's cruel, Bell."

Suddenly, Bellamy seems distant again. "Yeah, we've all been through some shit. Name anyone in this camp whose parents are both still alive." He laughs dryly, "And I know he's a kid. Trust me, his behaviour reminds me every day." He knows that was harsh but he doesn't know how to deal with any of it anymore. Being the leader and everything, taking responsibilty for everyone. It's a hell of a pressure and Clarke really doesn't make it better.

She looks at him without any emotion, "You're such an asshole."

Bellamy runs his hands through his hair, "Jeez, princess. If you care so much about him then why don't YOU go play the babysitter? You're better with people than me anyways."

That finally draws a look on her face again - a mix between angry and confused and... honored? Mostly angry, though. "What are you talking about, Bellamy? You literally made those people accept you as their leader within a day. Everyone here trusts you, and everyone believes whatever you say."

"Except you, am I right?" 

She glares up at him, not quite knowing what to say. When he says it like that, it sounds like he's mocking her or something - when it's actually just the truth. "Yes", Clarke says without a smile. "You're damn right."

Saying it, she realizes that she picked that phrase up from him. "Damn right" - Bellamy has said that a couple times. Clarke rolls her eyes at herself, looking away.

"Now go find him", she quickly changes the topic before he can say something. "Like I said, it's your responsibility."

Bellamy slowly nods, though he's still kind of pissed. "Yeah. Alright, I'll find him and... talk to him, I guess." 

Clarke smiles, kind of. He can still see the disappointment in her blue eyes and it makes him feel strangely uneasy. He swallows, then forces himself to smile back. It hurts. He wants to keep talking to her and doesn't even know why. He's not falling for the doctor girl - Bellamy just kind of realizes how he doesn't have any real friends down here. The people look up to him, as Clarke said. They trust him to make the right decisions, yet nobody helps him making them. He never thought he could feel this lonely when he's the guy every second girl would die to spend the night with. But maybe that's the point. It's never about staying, it's about having some fun and leaving his tent at dawn. Once again, Bellamy swallows to get rid of that uneasy feeling in his stomach. 

Suddenly, it hits him. Everyone expects him to take care of them - but nobody really cares about him.


End file.
